


shouldn't have let go

by thebeanunderthecorner



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angus McDonald is too pure for this world, Angus is Baby Magcretia, Apologies, Background blupjeans - Freeform, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, F/M, Light Angst, Maternal Instinct, Regrets, Secrets, Surprises, Unplanned Pregnancy, everyone is sad in this one, mostly - Freeform, proofreading? what's that?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:08:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28279665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebeanunderthecorner/pseuds/thebeanunderthecorner
Summary: The Director has very few regrets, and very little time to examine them, until she has to stare one in the face and welcome him into the Bureau of Balance.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Magnus Burnsides/The Director | Lucretia
Kudos: 10





	shouldn't have let go

Lucretia stood, horrified, staring at the one person she’d thought she’d never see again. Her son.

“How did you find this place? Who- never mind. No one would be able to tell you about this place unless you’d been previously inoculated. So, young man, what brings you here?” She was surprised that, somehow, the kid found his way to the Bureau all on his own.

“Ma’am, I mean to cause no alarm, but there is something strange going on. People keep disappearing and then no one remembers them. Like their existence has been erased or something. I’ve been gathering evidence and it leads me to this. Your moon-base-thing, which leads me to believe that this place is responsible for their disappearances. Is that true?” The ten year old boy was smarter than he looked. 

The Director was stunned. Was this really the sweet little boy she’d brought into this world all those years ago? Her face bunched up in thought.

“Are you okay, Madam Director?” Angus asked. Lucretia looked down and- ope!- there it was. The same face Magnus used to make whenever he was concerned about her.

“Y-yes, Angus. Just a bit puzzled is all,” she deflected, not ready to share her secret just yet.

“O-okay, Ma’am. Whatever you say. About those missing persons cases…”

“You know what? Let’s get you some ichor and we’ll talk about it later,” she suggested.

“Okie dokie!” the child- her child- said, sounding just like his father.

“DAVENPORT!” Lucretia called, and the little gnome came to show Angus to the Voidfish’s chamber.

\-----

Lucretia hadn’t been feeling well lately. No one had, what with the whole ‘relics being used to mess up the one place they’d found that was as close to home as it could get’ thing and all. But this was a different kind of unwell.

A new one for Lucretia.

She’d just finished ridding her stomach of all its contents, and then some, when a knock came at the bathroom door.

“Creesh! You done yet! I gotta take a dump!”

“Yeah! Just a second, Merle!” she yelled back.

She stood, flushing the evidence of her sickness, and exited the bathroom. 

“All yours,” she said with a weak smile as the dwarf rushed in.

_ ‘What’s going on? This is the third time this week!’ _ Lucretia thought as she walked to the kitchen for a snack.

She walked past Lup’s room and paused, seeing Barry on the bed, trying to reach his wife (they’d made it official once they realized this may be the cycle to break the cycle) on his stone of farspeech.

“Lup. Lulu. Loopy. Are you there?” the man asked, his gruff voice sounding utterly broken with every word. “Please answer. Please, Lup. Something. Anything!” Lucretia couldn’t help but pity the man. The love of his life had just up and gone, without a word, and hadn’t come back. Her absence hit them all pretty hard, but it hit her brother and husband the hardest. “Please…” Barry broke into sobs and fell back into the mattress. 

Lucretia took that as her signal to leave, and, somehow, she wasn’t hungry anymore. Just sad, as the gravity of what she was about set into motion hit her.

Weeks went by with no sign of Lup, but no sign of The Hunger either, which brought a mixed bag of emotions. Barry and Taako had taken to searching for their missing family member, each trip ending in a loss of hope and willpower, but at least they knew they had time. Merle and Davenport busied themselves by playing and creating their own card games, or gardening to ensure they could continue eating if they couldn’t go to the market. And Magnus spent his time training or carving, or, on the rare occasion she wasn’t busy with her secret project, with Lucretia. He loved her so much, and she loved him with all her heart, which made going through with her plan all that much harder. 

A few days before she wanted to enact her plan, Lucretia had a sneaking suspicion that something was wrong with her, specifically. And she was sure she knew what it was, but she had to be certain. So she went into the nearest town under the pretense of buying necessities. She returned with groceries (“How do we keep running out of cheese? BARRY’S LACTOSE INTOLERANT!”), some soap (“Seriously? Does Merle eat the stuff or something?”), and a little something extra for herself (“Just to be sure”). 

A necessity.

She didn’t use it for a couple days, but when she did, it confirmed her suspicions. Then and there, she decided she’d start erasing memories within the hour.

Lucretia made sure the rest of the crew was busy before going to work in her room. She set up all the things she needed to carry out her plan in a hurry, afraid that slowing down would weaken her resolve.

She’d checked to be sure the rest of the crew was busy before shutting herself in her room. Davenport was playing a seemingly complex, mostly made up, card game with Merle. It was probably more house rules than official rules, but the plane it had come from was gone now, so, as far as anyone was concerned, those were the official rules. They’d be occupied for at least a couple hours, if they had that long. Taako and Barry were out on the ship’s deck looking at their maps of Faerun, comparing the places they’d been and making notes on where they might go next to find Lup. The two could talk about finding her for hours. Magnus was outside chopping wood for a made up bonfire errand Lucretia had set him on, or so she thought.

She was pulling out the last of her notes on the mission when her door flew open.

“What’s this?” Magnus’s voice asked.

Without looking up, she answered. “Oh, nothing. Just reorganizing all my journals.” She heard him step closer.

“No, babe. What’s  _ this? _ ” he insisted, holding out the pregnancy test she’d taken earlier that day. Her head snapped up and her face fell as she met his eyes.

“Oh. That.” Somehow he’d found it. Which meant she hadn’t hidden it well enough to avoid having this conversation. Shit.

“Luce, is there anything you’d like to tell me?” His tone was a curious one. Demanding but caring. It broke her heart. He didn’t deserve to find out like this.

“I just found out today. I’m pregnant,” she confessed. The look on her lover’s face almost killed her resolve. But she had to do this. For all of them.

Magnus leaned down and kissed her. “This is great! Now that we’re staying on this plane, we can raise our kid as a family! The baby’s not gonna disappear or anything!” He picked her up in a hug and she held tight, trying to memorize what holding him felt like before she had to abandon them all forever. “This is so great! This is wonderful! I can’t believe it!” Lucretia felt the glee in Magnus’s voice rumble through her and tears fell from her eyes. Magnus released her and she immediately grabbed her stack of journals and started towards Fisher in his tank.

Magnus’s eyes grew wide. “Lu, what are you doing with those?”

“What I have to,” the woman said, not turning around. If she turned around, she wouldn’t be able to go through with it. She grabbed the one on top of the stack and held it above the voidfish’s tank.

“What? You don’t have to do this!”

“Yes, I do!” she spun around, face wet with tears . “I have to do this to keep you safe! I love you, Magnus, I really do. I love everyone else, too. I wouldn’t give up this mission, this family, for anything in the world, but I have to do this,” she said, dropping the first journal into the tank. “You weren’t supposed to see this. I’m so sorry, Magnus.”

“What are you do- What?” 

Lucretia couldn’t bear to watch as the man she loved most forgot everything of the last hundred years, so she didn’t. She just kept feeding the voidfish until she was all out of journals.

\-----

Angus McDonald was adjusting to life on the Bureau of Balance moon base quite well. Lucretia was determined to give him no preferential treatment, and it was working so far. Until she saw Taako, Merle, and Magnus picking on him and her maternal instincts kicked in. She’d left him alone for so long, so she felt she needed to make up for that lost time in slight non-obvious ways.

“You three! Stop picking on Angus! He is a valued member of our team, no matter how young he may be!” she shouted as she walked towards them. 

The men sprang away from the kid as she approached. 

“Sorry, Director,” Magnus said for the three of them.

“No, you apologize to Angus. He is your s- … coworker... after all.” Phew. She’d almost slipped up and spilled the beans, but caught herself just in time.

Magnus turned to the boy detective. “Sorry, Ango McDango. Won’t happen again,” he apologized as Taako crossed his fingers behind his back.

“Taako, I saw that,” Lucretia said, an air of authority in her voice. The elf huffed and set his hands on his hips defiantly, refusing to say sorry, a fact the Director already knew. Taako doesn’t say sorry to anyone, like, at all, and she knew it. She decided not to force it. Couldn’t have them questioning her defense of this child who’d just shown up and joined the Bureau without so much as a test of initiation. 

She’d explain it another day.

They didn’t need to know right now anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all, I hopped onto the "Angus is Magnus and Lucretia's kid" train so fast! I mean, sooo fast. And, as I've been in a "Lucretia needs more fics" kick lately, I couldn't not write a Magcretia Baby fic. I hope you enjoyed the fic I literally started on a plane on a whim. 
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day! Seriously. Dopamine machine go brrrr!


End file.
